Dawning of a new life
All these years I was convinced that I was in control; of my life, my destiny, my future and my career. I was confident, wise, and full of self control. Oh Lord, how I was wrong. I would only come to You in my darkest hours. So infrequently did I call out Your name--usually in time when I needed a miracle, or I needed to get out of an impossible situation. "Thank God" was an expression used figuratively, not literally. And if something went well, it was because I made it happen. Church was just a place I went out of habit. There was a God because man could think of no other explanation for the world around him. But today my life changed. I am sure of it.
I awoke to a light rain and the sound of distant thunder. I rarely feel so compelled to rise so early in the morning, but You prompted me without my awareness. As I approached the window and cleared my eyes, I looked to the east and there amongst the cold, dark storm clouds was the most beautiful sunrise I had ever seen. It started as a single beam of light with the light setting on a hill. The clouds seemed to swirl in slow motion, turning and molding the sky like a potter at his wheel. I shuddered as a cool breeze brushed me, nudged me, coaxed me. Then i heard in the distance what seemed like singing--strange yet familiar to my ears. As I watched in awe, I began to ponder the vastness of the sky, the intricate nature of life, and the mystery that surrounded me. I began to feel humbled, small and concerned: humbled because I realized how little I have to do with anything that occurs in my life day to day--small because of the vastness, depth, and magnificence of the universe--concerned because of my lack of knowledge in regard to the plans for my life. The rain began and it seemed to kiss me gently. It felt warm and soft as I lifted my face towards Your home-heaven, and closed my eyes. "Lord, You know my every thought, and You know I don't pray. What is it You want to say?" It was then that I felt myself reaching outward and upward, stretching my hands to the sky, and I began to call out to You. Softly at first, and unsure of myself, i repeatedly called out Your name. As I slowly opened my eyes, You spoke, "I love you", and proudly displayed Your endless, unconditional love for me in the form of a rainbow. I stood for what seemed like hours... looking at Your mighty works. Admiring Your covenant with man, I finally accepted Your promise to never forsake me. My tears and Your gentle shower of love formed moisture upon my cheeks. I became like a child who hold a heart that is open and pure and ready to listen, eager to learn, compelled to obey, and yearning for everlasting love. My need to control was replaced by a need to follow. Through Your divine intervention I felt a peace I had not known since my early childhood. Then slowly, i knelt to thank You for this awakening and all the other blessings in my life.
In retrospect it became clear that Your plan for me was simple. I must love You, believe in You, serve You, and follow Your commands. In return, You offer me eternity. Somehow i don't think i am doing nearly enough. As I turned from the window, I was filled with an energy and newness that one could only hope for. One thing was for certain--my days on this earth may cease tomorrow, but eternity with My Lord and Savior started then.